The following blog is a part of a series of blogs attempting to break down the different factors of discomfort, intensity or hurt during a Kundalini awakening (Scroll down to read blog #1 and #2 in the series).
Hyper-sensitivity: When Kundalini awakens it can remove one’s protective “walls” and defenses in a day. When this happens, you may experience heightened sensitivity to everything. Stimuli of any kind are no longer tolerated and that can pose a huge challenge in today’s lifestyle. Coping day-to-day with what used to be normal, be it work, shopping or anything that involves crowds and noise, can be taxing on your nervous system. What is happening in a fact, is that you are being “refined” by Kundalini's energy, like a diamond, the “roughness” is being smoothed out and shaped into something beautiful. Adjusting to living without our rough edges (our walls) can take time and be frightening initially. You may feel "naked" or as if your nerves are fully exposed. This can be challenging to say the least. Know that the heightened sensitivity isn’t a mistake or something gone wrong; it also helps you connect to what is beyond the veil and give you access to experiences and guidance that most people don’t have. Protective walls provide us all with a sense of safety, yet true safety arises from trust and from personal boundaries past your awakening. Give your system time to readjust, spend a lot of time in nature where nothing feels offensive to your hypersensitive system. Minimize going to crowded or loud places if possible, by shopping online for instance. If your struggles persist, consider moving closer to nature and away from city life. This may really help. You are changing and some changes will be temporary while others may require an adjustment in life style. This may feel intimidating and overwhelming, as any change would, but time will reveal that the new you is in fact a great fit. Take it slowly and allow your body tell you what it can and cannot do, your mind can take a back sit while you re-learn yourself.
Resisting our nature to “fix”: Ours minds are problem solving machines. In particularly the left side of our brain, presented with a situation, a pain or a perceived problem it goes into “solution” mode and tries to trouble shoot the issue. When the mind runs out of things to trouble shoot - it can make you into the issue. This will result in you thinking that there is something wrong with you which isn’t in fact the case. The challenge here is that Kundalini requires no fixing. It may change our lives, ask us to let go of a great deal of comfort and stability we are used to, but never without a reason. Initially we may not see the reasoning behind the discomfort and why we need to surrender. Trusting that Kundalini knows what it is even when you don’t is essential to making peace with this process. Educating yourself about Kundalini may help you turn off the "trouble shooting" part of the brain when it kicks in and to find a softer way of being with the different emotions that arise. In life we are accustomed to rejecting the unpleasant emotional states (defining them as a problem state) and only embracing the pleasant ones. Kundalini teaches us that one can’t be separated from the other. This is the most challenging lesson of all.
Change: We as humans have an inherent resistance to change. The status quo has inertia to it, and alternating that feels very uncomfortable and requires a great deal of effort. This change can feel counter intuitive. Although the changes Kundalini asks of us are ultimately for our healing, it may not feel so initially. All that we have been taught and indoctrinated with is deeply ingrained in our us, in our bodies and minds. The more we have repeated a habit (a belief is a habitual thought) the deeper the neuropath ways in our brain are formed. Changing that takes time and repetition, trust and blind participation on our behalf. Kundalini can bring to the surface what may be a false idea we have held on to, yet it is our job then to consciously try and change the habitual thoughts and be mindful.
Physical challenges: People view a spiritual awakening as a blessing and as a mental journey of expanding how we view reality. A Kundalini awakening includes the above, and yet it is also a physical journey of embodying the universal truth. Embodying an expanded awareness is experienced as many different physical symptoms. For some, it can feel like an illness or different continuous ailments. These symptoms will most likely not be a diagnosable condition. This in turn, can cause confusion and suffering; it is scary and hard to let go of the need for an actual diagnosis and treatment when your body is suffering. Some believe that the shift in consciousness alters the cells and the DNA (ascension). There is no proof of that, but anyone who has gone through Kundalini can tell you that it affects the body dramatically. Believing that Kundalini is behind physical symptoms, and trusting that they will heal as she progresses, is a challenging task to say the least.
I suggest you see a physician to make sure there is no underlying physical cause for your symptoms. If there isn’t, there is no easy way to accept physical pain or limitations, just know that most mysterious symptoms pass in the same way they arrived. Try not to live in fear of never being able to enjoy your body again(easier said than done, I know), as this will end up shifting as your healing journey unfolds. Lean on the people you love if you are feeling ill or limited during this process and if you have to feel sorry for yourself, let yourself do that for as long as you need to. Losing one’s prior physical capacity in today’s world is viewed as a weakness, and the acceptance of that takes time. Let yourself grieve.
Severe trauma – If you have been through severe trauma in your childhood, this awakening becomes all the harder to deal with. You are most likely suffering from some form of PTSD, going through life in hyper-vigilance whether you are aware of it or not. You system is most likely to react to Kundalini as if it is an intruder and your mind will kick into fight or flight mode more often than not. All the challenges mentioned in this blog series you might experience in an intensified way or frequency. This isn’t fair in any sense of the word, as you were already handed the short straw in childhood. Developing trust with Kundalini can help you tremendously in making this awakening less of a battle. This isn’t easy, as perhaps the people closest to you have traumatized you. This has left you not knowing how to trust for a good reason. If you can’t trust Kundalini (again, justifiably so), try to learn to trust yourself. Look at all the instances in life when you thought you couldn’t do something but you did it regardless. Use affirmations to promise yourself that you will never abandon you, nor will you betray or reject yourself. Inner child and trauma work is very important for your healing. See a trained trauma therapist to help you process the past wounding. Don’t expect yourself to feel safe in your body and mind on your own; this takes professional help if you have been this badly wounded. More than anything, this healing of a lifetime of pain, neglect, abuse or dismissal takes time. Give yourself all the time in the world knowing that this is the most important journey you have ever partaken. Healing is giving yourself the love and care you were denied of growing up. Give yourself all that the people who were supposed to care for you didn’t. Be it unconditional love and support, care, patience, tenderness or simply consistency. Show up for your own healing everyday, willing and present. If you can’t do this on your own, please seek help. We all need it sometimes.
Kundalini can bring many challenges our way, learning to live differently and adjusting on a mental, physical and emotional levels takes time. Give yourself a break, this isn’t a journey you excel in, this is a journey that is meant to humble you. Change on such a profound level would humble anyone. You will get used to Kundalini’s many different faces, you will learn to know that she is not trying to harm you. You will learn to trust in your immense inner strength and courage. When you feel like you can’t take it anymore, know that you are so much stronger than you think you are. Also know that sometimes falling apart is perfectly fine, and that reaching for help, is a good choice. You can get through this, I believe in you.
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